so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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