Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Randomize
