I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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