I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
