All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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