I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
