Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize