omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
