they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Randomize
