so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Randomize
