i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
