she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
