the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
