So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
