i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
