So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Hippo gnu deer
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
