She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
