we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I will pee on everything he values.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
