Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Randomize
