just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
