I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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