Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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