I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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