I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
jump out the window naked night went bad
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