You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I want you more than these girls want KFC
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Randomize
