i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
