Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I have so many feelings about this burrito
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
