Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I wear drunk well.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
