Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
