Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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