I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
