remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
do herpes really smell.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Randomize
