I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
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