I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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