There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
