You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize