In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
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