Buhtt sex?
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize