I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Rumble strips road head = magical
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize