matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
