Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
