I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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