i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
