then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
