Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
