yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
