btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
