Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
