sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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