What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
