i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
