How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
