She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Congratulations! We have a period
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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