STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i think i have two assholes
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
