isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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