if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
