your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
