It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
