im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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