I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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