God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I didn't notice because vodka
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize