the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
